Being a twenty-something girl means juggling heartbreaks, Googling the best retinol serums because apparently the minute you turn 21 you’re practically 30, falling in love, moving into new places, and adulting for real. It’s taxes (shoutout TurboTax), it’s figuring out boob tape, it’s change after change after change. And sometimes, it smacks you right in the face.
Last week, for example…
My boyfriend and I had just moved into our new apartment. It’s beautiful, but the carpets were fugly (like, aggressively ugly) and the place reeked of dog pee thanks to the previous tenants. Thankfully we got it fixed, but that day everything felt like too much. I got my period, my plans got cancelled, I realized I’d completely forgotten about an appointment with someone I really admire, and to top it off, my bra wire was stabbing me in the ribs like it had a personal vendetta.
I was livid. My boyfriend—bless him—tried to make me laugh, but in the moment it landed more like ragebait than comfort. Cue the waterworks. I was overstimulated, cranky, and melting in 115-degree Arizona heat.
So I did the only thing I could think of: I walked to a café in my new neighborhood to clear my head. I’d set the scene for you—but honestly, I think a picture says it better. Let’s just say it involves me, tears, and an extremely ironic inspirational quote on the wall.
After that meltdown, I realized something: I’d been sprinting through everything like my new apartment, new job, new routines, still trying to work out and hit my steps like my Apple Activity Ring was my boss—without giving myself a second to breathe. No wonder the tiniest thing (demon bra wire) felt like the final straw.
So I did something absolutely radical for me: I slowed down. Instead of obsessing over the carpets or spiraling about the appointment I missed, I let myself just exist. Revolutionary, I know. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in being “productive” or “successful” that we forget it’s perfectly fine to sit on the couch and meditate (stare at the wall for 10 minutes) .
Here’s what I’m learning: slowing down doesn’t mean you’re giving up or falling behind. It means giving yourself space to actually live the moment instead of sprinting through it like it’s the last mile of a 5k. And when you do pause, you start to realize that half the stuff stressing you out is just…life being life—or, if you squint, little opportunities dressed up as chaos.
So if you’re in your twenties (or honestly, any stage of life) and feel like everything’s crashing down at once, here are three small ways I’ve been practicing slowing down (that don’t involve crying in a café… though I still recommend it):
1. Give yourself space from your feelings
Sometimes the best thing you can do is step away from your own head for a minute. Personally, I like to distract my mind—play a game, read something, scroll through a random rabbit hole—anything that literally redirects my thoughts. It’s not about avoiding your feelings forever, it’s about giving your body a chance to regulate so you don’t spiral. Do this for a few minutes until you feel steady enough to come back and actually face what’s going on.
2. Give a girl some grace
You can’t create lasting change when your motivation comes from punishment. It has to come from love. When you restrict, you’re basically setting yourself up for the same bounce-back cycle (which is why most diets fail). Instead, try building habits around your weaknesses instead of beating yourself up over them. You don’t need to be sunshine-and-rainbows all the time, but reframing even one negative thought makes a huge difference over time. Do that enough, and you’ll literally rewire your brain.
3. Take a nap
Ole reliable. Sometimes you just need to hit the reset button. A nap gives your brain and body a break so you wake up calmer—or if you’re lucky, even happier. Bonus: fewer emotionally-charged conversations with yourself when you’re rested.
LOVE , P